Emotional Love: "I'm In Love With You"

The fourth type of love is Emotional Love. This is likely the most popular love, the one seen in movies, television shows, and heard in love songs and poems. Emotional Love is a deep affinity, the “in-love feeling” that is difficult to describe and whose origins are equally difficult to trace. When a man and woman feel as though they can’t live without each other, they are likely experiencing Emotional Love.

It finds expressions in one person being almost unable to breathe without the other, or in a man or woman preferring to be unhappy with one partner rather than being happy with someone else. This love is uncontrollable and intoxicating. You have no control over whom you fall in love with. For some, it may mean unexpectedly falling in love at first sight. It cannot be forced or faked. Most people rarely say, "I think I'll fall in love today."

Emotional Love requires great effort. Just as people fall deeply in love, they are known to painfully fall out of love as well. Emotional Love demands constant attention, compared to Laureate Love, which gives constant attention. Like all emotions, this type of love can easily be fleeting unless it is carefully nurtured and supplemented with both Laureate and Vicarious Loves.

This love is blinding, such that friends and family often see the obvious flaws in one’s partner that the love stricken cannot see. Its positive intensity has a negative opposite: hate (intense dislike). It can be triggered by disappointment and betrayal. For example, one moment someone can be in-love with a person and seconds later, can deeply hate the same person. As it pertains to relationships, this emotion is the source of what legal experts call ‘crimes of passion’.

Those individuals who demonstrate Emotional Love can sometimes appear to be exhibiting paranormal qualities. They will go to great lengths to prove Emotional Love, willingly enduring unusual pain and suffering for the loved one. Being in Emotional Love makes individuals want to do anything for the person whom they love, but when this love fades, so does the effort to maintain the relationship. This may account for the frequent accusation: “You don’t do the things you used to do.” You may not choose who you fall in love with, but you can choose who you stay in love with. Staying in love requires the capability and action that only Laureate Love can provide.

Emotional Love driven by Laureate Love will prompt lovers to learn each other’s likes and dislikes. Laureate Love, the unconditional action of giving love, is the engine that can power the giving of Emotional Love. In so doing, relationships advance. A relationship where likes and dislikes are known allows the language of love to be spoken freely and communicated in fulfilling ways. Emotional Love is often also the guiding motivator for physical pleasure. So, this type of love is significant and necessary for procreation and thus humanity’s continuation. It also often leads to marriage. It is not to be confused with lust.

This love comes from genuine motives and is best expressed within the commitment of marriage. It is likely that classical philosophers were speaking of emotional love when defining it as “…a single soul inhabiting two bodies.” The force of this love is strong enough to produce tears of joy when it’s found and tears of pain when it’s lost.

You know you have found Emotional Love when something inside comes alive in the presence of that special someone. Those who have been in love know this. Maybe the heart beats faster. Maybe friends notice an inner and outer glow, visible relaxation, and an unusual display of happiness. Without intentional development, Emotional Love can be cursory and unreliable. With consistent attention, it can become beautiful, euphoric, powerful, and enduring.